Ode to Commode
A love affair has started... deep within my heart.
I have butterflies in my tummy; I hope that was just a fart.
You open my eyes... to a wide-open embrace.
I can feel passion brewing, as the color leaves my face.
My quivering haunches... burn with desire.
You have opened a gate, a waterfall of fire.
My dearest toilet... this is no ordinary crush.
You consume every ounce of me, before I can think to flush.
Your fascinating figure... more captivating than any girl.
It's your shapely physique, I desire to hold as I hurl.
Your clammy touch... keeps me near your side.
You feel cool and refreshing, a reminder I have died.
My love is ever deepening... I cannot leave you be.
But I'm afraid someone is jealous, I'm sure they've poisoned me.
My stomach heaves in waves... I try to crawl away.
But I can feel your grip on me, forcing me to stay.
All I want... is to be alone in my bed.
But I can’t even walk; guess I’ll stay here instead.
Gastroenteritis... the greatest gift I ever received for my birthday. Thank you, Mr. 4 and Mr. 7, I can tell you really love me!!
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8 comments:
See...that's reason #16 why I don't have kids! :)
Happy crappy birthday, Orion!
Kids. Don't ya just love them? They not only suck the life blood right out of you, but the crap too.
Feel better!
Happy belated Bday...stoppin by to see if you are my SSCSI partner
Happy Birthday! May your life not pass before your eyes before you shit yourself blind...
Sorry about that... My daughter has had a milder version (no need for camping out in the bathroom) but we're sick of it.
LMAO!! I fell your pain...I have shiningles!! My 2 and 4 year old love me just as much as your. Time for "Comfortably numb" on repeat for 30 minutes!
BTW- I need a ride to the doctors office..can I hitch a ride with you?
It's your birthday you said
You're sitting on the head
You stomach is aching
You wish you were dead.
That...was a finely written little piece of leterature.
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