I want medication too.
Mr. 7 is going through the thrills of a medication change. Apparently the rest of us are going through it as well.
I've never noticed how paper thin the walls in my house were until the satanic opera singer evolved. High pitched shrills float through the vents and vibrate my eyeballs inside their sockets like I willfully placed a vibrator in my ear. And if you consider putting a vibrator in your ear excitingly exotic, you're wrong.
Three days ago Mr. 7 had a counseling appointment with a psycho-something or another, he threatened to cut his own tongue off with a set of the child safe scissors. I've never paid much attention to the "lethal weapons" we actually keep in our home. Evidently glue sticks, crayons, and other randomly placed art materials are now objects of mutilation, just like the scissors.
Two days ago Mr. 7 was placed in a basket hold at daycare. He was threatening the lives of the faculty, kicking, punching, etc.. etc...
Yesterday Mr. 7 was sent home from first grade because he mocked a fellow classmate. He screamed at her until she broke down into tears and then proceeded to throw his Popsicle art project at her. He was upset that her project was finished before his, but he was too busy blurting random vowel sounds to work on his project. A-me still has some of her sanity left, even after Mr. 7 screamed "don't let her take me, don't let her take me, she's going to hurt me! She's going to hurt me!"
Holy shit... the drama.
If you purchase a malfunctioning toaster, generally, you can take it back to the store. Unless of course you're some fucking moron that tries to fix shit you know nothing about.
You own a dog and unfortunately it is suddenly stricken with rabies or some other life threatening ailment. You take it in for euthanasia, try your hardest to let them go in peace and in the usual course of things cry your fucking eyes out.
What do you do with a fucked up 7 year old boy? At times your heart aches at the distaste you carry for him. At times you wish you could just tell him to go play in traffic because he won't stop pushing your buttons. You pray, you wish, you hurt... all the while your pride and love slowly begin to deteriorate into a gaping hole of execration.
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6 comments:
Sounds like things are rough. I work at a private day school for kids with emotional problems. We have kids as young as 5. I hate when kids have to be restrained. Thank heavens I haven't had to do that yet this year. Hope things look up soon.
I don't know what to say Orion. I hope they find the right meds or whatever help he needs. :o(
But, you are human. Even though we feel guilt for our feelings, there isn't a lever we can pull to stop them.
It is challenging, to say the least, to raise children, let alone a child with medical issues. It is even tougher to be that child. You feel helpless, he feels helpless. The only thing you can do is not give up. There is hope with the right doctor(s), the right treatment, the right diet, etc. Finding those things though are a bitch. I am sorry you are going through this - I am sorry Mr. 7 has to go through this too.
Never give up 'cause if you do, Mr. 7 will too.
At least you realize you're reaching the end of your tether. Then again, there's always whiskey for his sippy cup. Your plate is too full.
One day you'll look back on all this and realize that, although you pop your cork at times, you did the best you could at the time with what you had to work with.
That's what I have to tell myself every damn day.
In your position I think I'd be trying to use the safety scissors to puncture my eardrums and possibly put out an eye, both of which must be less painful than dealing with Mr. 7.
I'm so sorry. I am by no means an expert, just someone with some experience, so I can't really tell you what to do.
Just keep loving him. It will pay off. And keep TELLING him you love him. Find little things he does each day that are positive and good, and TELL HIM.
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