On Thursday Mr. 7 lost his fourth tooth. A-me and I were rather excited that this dangler was finally gone. The damn tooth had been lose since Christmas and it just would not sit uniform with the rest. Mr. 7 would smile and all you could see was that tooth coming at you like some visual affect from a 3D movie. And Mr. 7 was excited as well, seeing how his bankroll was getting a little low and that 2 dollars would really help him through this stretch of financial drought.

On Friday morning while we were all participating in the zombie shuffle, Mr. 7 came down to inform us that the tooth fairy must have been super busy. So busy she didn't pay him a visit.
Holy shit! We forgot! We suck! We should have that fuckin' fairy's wings ripped off!
Unfortunately Mr. 5 wet his bed at 4 in the morning, so it was rather obvious that while Mr. 5 was battling the Uri-demon he scared off the damn tooth fairy.

Fortunately enough the tooth fairy was able to visit our house while Mr. 7 was at school. I found the winged little wretch dancing around the living room leaving a dollar bill and four quarters sprawled out on the coffee table. That tooth fairy is evil, and I believe she's using drugs.. she just left! Could not even fly her happy pixie ass upstairs to deliver the money. Bitch.

I picked up Mr. 7 at school, he was excited. At first I thought he was excited to see if the tooth fairy had paid him a visit, but he clearly proved me wrong when he showed me an additional aperture in his smile. Both of his k-9's are gone, but at least now he can eat an apple without biting himself in the nose.

We hurried home to discover the tooth fairy had, indeed, left two dollars under his pillow, and the excitement stayed with him all night until he passed out on the living room floor.
Do you think the fucking tooth fairy would have been smart enough to make the switch while Mr. 7 was sleeping on the floor? No, of course not, the bitch tried to forget again! So I had to grab her by her fuzzy little slippers and shake her around a bit. I tossed her around like some cheap, Tinkerbell knockoff and forced her up the stairs. I had to help her dig underneath Mr. 7's pillow. The baggy that should have been close to the edge of his pillow was shuffled back underneath his head. With stealth, sweat, and determination the tooth fairy and I had to lift his head and pull up the pillow in order to retrieve the tooth.

I was relieved once the deed was done. Mr. 7 wouldn't wake up to a disappointment, and I wouldn't have to deal with that doped up fairy for a while.

Monday when I came home from work Mr. 7 proudly showed his toothless smile, and with excitement he pointed out another gap in his acrylics.
Fuck.
So the tooth fairy is comin' around again... any more loose teeth and I'll have to take out a personal loan for this bitch.