I would like to review the genocidal values of birth control and how promoting the use of such simple constructs can eliminate a myriad of fucking problems... oh! and other things too... like comedic value associated with possible conversations.

There are many forms of birth control out there, but half of them are worthless. For example, the idealism behind chastity and "chastity belts" ... it's not that chastity belts don't count as a form of birth control, but in this day and age that sort of thing is unheard of, unless you consider people's faces part of the ensemble. Even then, if she's terribly ugly and you can't stand looking at her repulsive face, you can
A. put a Wal-Mart smiley bag over her head.
B. drink plenty of alcohol.
C. participate in "doggy-style" or anal sex.

Another "old-timer" is celibacy, Merriam Webster should consider a serious revision as Sell-a-Bessy... as pimp's are the usual participants of this event. Morals and willpower will only take you so far in life before greed and the other deadly sins come home to play.

I can't help but to think that birth control usage has hit an all time low as I look at the populous surrounding me. I stand here on the outside looking in on the "nuclear" family... and all that comes to mind is "HO-LY-SHIT!"

We have 15 year old girls giving birth for the second time, and if her father wasn't fathering the first one, chances are he could be the next line for the 3rd one. The "illegals" down the street from me just had their 7th child here in America... one more thing for me to pay taxes on, and one less job opportunity for that 15 year old slut mentioned above. Things are fucked up. Genocide is inevitable... if not God himself, then the reincarnate of Hitler.

Onto a less serious matter... Latex...
Vulcanize your pecker for strength boys, the rubber has been unveiled.
Condoms have become something excessively scientific... not even a pubic shrubbery can deter these wind resistant cock socks from performing astronomical abilities. Each individually wrapped package contains a fucking souvenir shop jammed full of possible memoirs for every man. Prepackaged and lubed, scented, powdered, ribbed... fucking Easter egg speckled! The assortment is phenomenal. The only fathomable way to make these stretchy bundles of joy any better is to include the woman.

Speaking of a woman prepackaged in latex that brings me to my next point... Spandex.

Seriously... where in the flying fuck did this shit come from? Aeronautical space monkeys from a future Beverly Hills aerobics institute?? Armor yourself in spandex and rub your limbs together vigorously for lengthy periods of time... and because of the non-breathable material I suspect there are endless outcomes here.
A. the heat and sweat chafed all living skin within moments.
B. the snug fit gyrates the outer body fat, giving the wearer a false sense of achievement.
C. the heavy friction in the groin area created a small detonation between heat and pubic hair.

There is no real reasoning behind spandex, other than to ward off the sexually hounding male. Spandex does nothing for a woman that I, personally, can find attractive. Camel toes, moose knuckles, and cottage cheese vision are not qualities that I find arousing... not even an overdose of Viagra can assist me with that. The only possible way to make spandex a better form of birth control is to include the woman/(God forbid)man.

Personally... I feel no matter how advanced our technology in condoms becomes, nothing will ward off a man's little swimmers better than spandex.

Now, BITCH! cook me some eggs.