I've decided to devote a section of my blog and writing habits to the things that irritate me to no end. I read so many "rants" and I laugh, sometimes uncontrollably, because I know exactly what is going through their head. I nod my head in agreement with the writer, and I sometimes throw out an occasional "ha ha, ...oh fuck, that's funny", then I slap my leg. Whatever.

So... my very first installment will be the nature of bad breath and the inconsiderate assholes that keep it.

If I'm holding my hand over my nose and mouth while you talk to me, or if my face looks like I walked into a room filled knee deep in shit... chances are, you have nasty breath and I have the overwhelming urge to ram a toothbrush down your pungent throat.

If you are one of these unfortunate mother fuckers with a diseased scent I suggest you stay out of my bubble. I'm not afraid to use acrid slander. I'm a malevolent fuck and currently despising the fact that you're even breathing.

Buy gum. Buy a toothbrush. Fill your fucking head with sand and go play in traffic because I detest your ignorance and I want you to go the fuck away.